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| There are many thoughts on my mind that I can’t find all the right words for. I have no idea why my heart is so empty but content at the same time. It is seemingly lacking something. I am walking without a soul with a little sting deep down there.
I think a lot about how my childhood, family, friends, and relationships have shaped me into this unbalanced but somehow functionable monster. Being an introvert in many ways, I keep every single extreme emotions and memories in me. Somehow I feel that, whatever I am feeling, it is unfair to point fingers. These feelings are direct results of the reaction caused by my actions to others. (This sentence makes no sense, lol) Do you know that feeling when you wake up and knowing that you could be living the same way for the next 50 years is totally possible? That your heart might flutter but would prefer to stay in this content constant rhythm? I feel a little tired, and a little lost.
**sorry I'd be fun again soon. ha ...
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| Our everyday has been bombarded with reality tv, unimaginative and repetitive tv shows and movies, and yes even over the top independent stuff and YouTube. Sometimes you just take for granted what is real and neglected the effort that has been put into.. well just about anything! Things come so easily to us, everyday necessities, analysis to presidential debate, intruction for our IRA accounts right after DOW drops 900 points, etc.
Tonight I went to Spirited Astray, an independent modern dance production starring 3 Japanese dancers. Amazing, passionate and touching. The feeling that you finally connect to oh whao I am allowed to think and interpret what is infront of me, and there is absolutely no limit to it.
Where? 115 1st Avenue (btw 9th and 10th); When? Oct 16-19 (thurs-sun) @8pm. For the low price of 20-25 bucks to give you enjoyment and support to neglected talents of this jaded world.
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| I SO CAN COOK!! 
It seems like everyone thinks I am a sucky cook, or just simply can't even boil water. The truth is, I'm not totally awesome, BUT I am pretty darn good. I mean, I do work in that hospitality industry, and I've came up with my fair share of great specials that people go like wow, this is amazing!! Anyways, my dinner tonight... Chicken Udon all hooked up version. Ingredients include boneless chicken meat, stringbeans, carrots, shitake mushroom, bean sprouts, a tad of bok choy (chopped up for easy cooking), garlic flakes, udon, soy sauce, oyster sauce, bean paste, tad of ponzu sauce (i use that over vinegar), chilli sauce........ and ME!! lol
 1, COMMON SENSE!! wash and cut veggies... DUH..... 2, Throw in the marinated chicken (cut up, marinate with sugar, soy sauce, rice wine, corn starch, oil) 3, After the chicken is slightly browned, throw in the vegetables that take longer to cook, then throw in the rest of it. 4, Add in the sauces... wait to simmer for a minute until sauce thickens. Throw in the udon, mix and mix. TADA!!  MY DINNER!! I SO COULD BE DOMESTICATED!! PSHhh
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| Bookshelf of Books
Everytime I have a point of enlightenment in my life, I would roam around BN in search of those perfect book that resonate with my mind and thoughts. Be it, sociology, metaphysics, astrology, new business oriented urge I have, my day trader-ish curiosity, my Branding/Advertising amusement, the awesome mighty marketing genius in me, etc etc. Pretty soon, my book shelf is filled with books of different diversed subjects that I haven't really quite gotten to them yet. Maybe it's the ADD in me.
Sometimes I wonder if I could just spend all my time to finish that book shelf of books, I could probably achieve all my dreams with those knowledge that I've "collected". Now, still a wanderer, it is time to begin this mission of actually reading them all. Anyone out there with this same "collector" book shelf like me?
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 Oh Yeahhh.. this is how we DODGE the damn bouquet. Guess which is me? lol
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| Fall Cleaning
Ever have those moments when you just sit in your room and you go like, "gosh I hate this damn place, I need to do something with it." I've been having those moments more and more often. Although I don't really have a huge amount of stuff, BUT I hate clutter! I've also lived in the same place for almost 3 and a half years! That's a LONG time. I mean, I love my balcony and all.. it is time for a change. Throwing out things like, books, magazines, maybe some clothes. I'm giving away a small cannon scanner, come grab it if you need it.
Thinking about moving to a new place of my own (or less roommate), wanting to get a new job, wanting to just focus more and actually getting things done. I've been in the middle of nowhere for too long, not bad and not great. I want to be THERE! UGhhhh if you know what I mean.
Sorry for the bad writting, I only have highly disorganized thoughts here and there these days.
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