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Believe INC	I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

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Posted by: SilentRhymes Original: 11/13/2008 4:21 AM Views: 119 Comments: 24 eProps: 36 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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2 eProps from: djcaptainzowie cokeaddict Agent_Eric boogiebear lCrAzYAzNl yuejau violetjade WoAiNi1116 lil_vengee cadd918 kid1218 FatNation Silva23H danlukey yumixpeach d_art Vitamin_D propheciesofthebible

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

There are many thoughts on my mind that I can’t find all the right words for. I have no idea why my heart is so empty but content at the same time. It is seemingly lacking something. I am walking without a soul with a little sting deep down there.

I think a lot about how my childhood, family, friends, and relationships have shaped me into this unbalanced but somehow functionable monster. Being an introvert in many ways, I keep every single extreme emotions and memories in me. Somehow I feel that, whatever I am feeling, it is unfair to point fingers. These feelings are direct results of the reaction caused by my actions to others. (This sentence makes no sense, lol)

Do you know that feeling when you wake up and knowing that you could be living the same way for the next 50 years is totally possible? That your heart might flutter but would prefer to stay in this content constant rhythm? I feel a little tired, and a little lost.

**sorry I'd be fun again soon. ha ...

Posted 11/13/2008 4:21 AM - 119 Views - 36 eProps - 24 comments

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24 Comments

let it out! i hope you break out of your numb state soon. you okay?

did you know my seller name is "randomgoods"?

Posted 11/13/2008 4:43 AM by djcaptainzowie

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Mmmmmm... cupcakes

you're an INTROVERT?! no way! i don't believe it.

*hug*

don't worry. i know how you feel.

Posted 11/13/2008 9:11 AM by cokeaddict

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They call that the quarter life crisis.

Posted 11/13/2008 12:47 PM by Agent_Eric

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I've thought about that too... the part about waking up and living the same way for the next 50 years. Geez, that would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? That's how it feels with the work schedule. Everyday's like running fire department at my work place - always an emergency that needs to be fixed and always working the long hours... and everyone shouting that they're the most important and that all their needs should be addressed before everyone else. >_<

Breaking out of this routine funk and breaking out of the conservative mode (e.g. holding emotions in) would be nice, because this moment of blah is causing self-inflicted pain! Want to go sky diving or something?

Posted 11/13/2008 1:08 PM by boogiebear - reply

aww go out and do something fun and out of the norm =)
get your spirit up xmas is almost coming white fluffy snow
also means throw at roland !
or run from roland ahH!

Posted 11/13/2008 3:20 PM by lCrAzYAzNl

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I know what your mean...

maybe you need something change..go for a walk, listen to music..

give you some fresh energy..

dont be too down.. always away out!!

Posted 11/13/2008 3:39 PM by yuejau - reply

U work too much

Posted 11/13/2008 5:36 PM by violetjade - reply

you've always been introverted like that since i've known you...i think you need to let go...of course not to everyone but keeping everything inside isn't the way to go...you're just hurting yourself in the long run

Posted 11/13/2008 8:21 PM by WoAiNi1116 - reply

i feel you on this one. Its normal to feel lost. Alot of people our age do. Its a very scary and confusing stage in our lives. The best thing to do is to surround yourself with loved ones for support. Hang in there and know that you're not the only one :)

Posted 11/14/2008 9:27 AM by lil_vengee

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It's almost as if you feel like you're in a funk, but not really. It's perfectly normal (I hope). Maybe it's the winter blues?

Posted 11/14/2008 10:43 AM by cadd918

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hahah no its just i work so much its impossible to buy groceries without them going bad.. plus the supermarket is way far into town and too much of a hassle.. so kimchee is perfect! hahah im still in BC..... u
?

Posted 11/16/2008 5:58 PM by kid1218 - reply

@kid1218 -

nice.. you should start making your own kimchi, i always want to try that. i am still slaving away in nyc. sighh

Posted 11/16/2008 11:17 PM by SilentRhymes - reply

oh i made my own kimcheee at my restaurant in chicago.....
what do you do there?

Posted 11/17/2008 2:32 AM by kid1218 - reply

@kid1218 -

really? send some over please! i also work in the restaurant business.

Posted 11/17/2008 12:40 PM by SilentRhymes - reply

oh really? what do you do? what restaurant...

i was exec at Ginger Asian Bistro in Orland Park, IL... and my family still owns and runs Phoenix in Chicago, IL....

Posted 11/17/2008 8:19 PM by kid1218 - reply

@kid1218 -

server. been working in restaurant since i was 20, done everything in the FOH. Sort of thinking about going to culinary school now.

Posted 11/18/2008 1:13 AM by SilentRhymes - reply

mmmm hehehe not sure if i would recommend it unless you reaaaaaally love it.... i mean i did all the FOH too from bartending to managing to even bussing and dishwashing......
i gave up med school to pursue this career and let me tell you .. it defn not for everyone... gotta give up your family, friends, social life..... very hard to find someone who understands your career.....

Posted 11/18/2008 8:14 PM by kid1218 - reply

@kid1218 -

i totally agree. most people don't understand this field, and that applies to half the people in this field too. plus i am from a traditional family where you should be this and that, not slaving away in a restaurant. Took me awhile to really figure things out and where i feel i belong. i was in fashion design, for crying out loud lol.

Posted 11/18/2008 10:29 PM by SilentRhymes - reply

hahahah especially since its so hard to make any money in this field! msg me ur fb or msn or sth alot easier then putting 2 billion msgs on xanga !!

Posted 11/18/2008 10:32 PM by kid1218 - reply

EEEEEEEEEEEEEMO!

Posted 11/23/2008 2:52 PM by FatNation

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i havent been on xanga fo abt yr already....sup!!

Posted 12/5/2008 4:03 PM by Silva23H - reply

Hey! It was nice to meet you ~_~ and I had alot of fun at Ping Pong! hahahaha

Posted 1/19/2009 6:11 PM by yumixpeach - reply

Ah, yes. We don't like drama, but it'll always find you, so might as well fnd ways to face it (in a healthy way)..

Posted 1/23/2009 3:49 PM by d_art

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Visit propheciesofthebible's Xanga Site!

Hello Ms. SR,
Your site is simple yet so elegant but I see that you don’t write here much anymore!
I want to help people to really get to know Jehovah God and His plans for us, especially in these troubled times: 4 You refused to answer when I called out; you paid no attention to my instructions. Instead, you did what I hated, knowing it was wrong. Now I will punish you in a way you dread the most. (Isaiah 66:4) (CEV)

Posted 8/23/2009 3:11 AM by propheciesofthebible

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